What University Does Sheldon Cooper Work at
Quotes
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[first lines]
Leonard Hofstadter : Sheldon, your food's getting cold.
Sheldon Cooper : I'll eat later. Right now I'm suckling at the informative bosom of Mother Physics.
Penny : Hot when Sheldon talks dirty.
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Sheldon Cooper : I read his research, and... it's leaps and bounds ahead of mine. Which means the mommy of the smartest physicist at the university is not my mommy as I had thought. It's his mommy!
[starts crying]
Amy Farrah Fowler : Sheldon, I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better. May I offer you a consoling hug?
Sheldon Cooper : What do we have to lose?
[Amy hugs him tightly]
Amy Farrah Fowler : How's that?
Sheldon Cooper : I feel like I'm being strangled by a boa constrictor.
[Amy lets go]
Sheldon Cooper : Why'd you stop?
[Amy hugs him again]
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Penny : Sheldon, could I ask you a question?
Sheldon Cooper : Of course.
Leonard Hofstadter : You ever gonna sleep with Amy?
Sheldon Cooper : That's awfully personal.
Leonard Hofstadter : We don't ask Sheldon things like that.
Penny : Maybe you don't, I do. What's the deal?
Sheldon Cooper : Well, word around the university is I'm giving her sex organs a proper jostling.
Penny : All right, come on. Be serious. Look, you guys have been going out a long time. She would clearly like to have a physical relationship with you, so what are you doing?
Leonard Hofstadter : All right, we're down the rabbit hole. What are you doing?
Sheldon Cooper : Well, first of all, I'm quite fond of Amy.
Penny : So, what's the problem?
Sheldon Cooper : Penny, all my life, I have been uncomfortable with the sort of physical contact that comes easily to others-handshaking, hugging, prostate exams. But I'm working on it, you know? Just recently, I had to put VapoRub on Amy's chest. A year ago, that would've been unthinkable.
Leonard Hofstadter : Now you know how I feel when I have to put it on you.
Penny : Okay, hang on. Are you saying someday you and Amy might... actually get physical?
Sheldon Cooper : [a long pause] It's a possibility.
Penny : [silently, grabbing Leonard's shoulder] Oh, my God!
[Out loud]
Penny : Sheldon, I know this wasn't easy for you, and I'm really glad we could have this conversation.
Sheldon Cooper : Hey.
[Penny starts to punch and slap Leonard in excitement]
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Barry Kripke : I have some bad news. You're working on a grant proposal for a new fusion weactor. I'm working on a gwant pwoposal for a new fusion weactor. The university is only awowed to submit one proposal.
Sheldon Cooper : So they asked you to pack up your things and ship out; that's hard cheese, Barry. You were one of the good ones.
Barry Kripke : No, they're making us work together.
Sheldon Cooper : That's ridiculous! I have one of the great minds or our generation. I work on a level so rarefied you couldn't even imagine it. I said stop looking at my cool train!
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Leonard Hofstadter : Sheldon Lee Cooper, I do not have time for this nonsense! Now go put your clothes on, get in the car and let's go to work!
Sheldon Cooper : All right, geez! What a grouch.
Leonard Hofstadter : How did I do that? I gotta remember how I did that.
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Sheldon Cooper : [to Penny] Do you have any idea what it's like to be paired with someone who is so incredibly annoying?
Leonard Hofstadter : [raises hand] Oh, teacher, me! Me!
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Sheldon Cooper : How do I know you're not going to take my ideas and publish them as your own?
Barry Kripke : How do I know you're not going to do that with mine?
Sheldon Cooper : Because I'm not interested in getting published in Mad Magazine.
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[last lines]
Barry Kripke : Yeah, yeah. Was she naked or was she wearing wangeway?
Sheldon Cooper : I didn't notice.
Barry Kripke : How could you not notice?
Sheldon Cooper : I was too busy squishing all the desirable parts of her body.
Barry Kripke : Ahh, you're killing me, Cooper!
Sheldon Cooper : Can we get back to work?
Barry Kripke : Sure, sure.
[pause]
Barry Kripke : You guys ever use any toys?
Sheldon Cooper : Toys? I live with a model rocket next to my bed.
Barry Kripke : A wocket? You're a fweak! I wuv it.
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Penny : Want me to make you some tea?
Sheldon Cooper : Tea is for when I'm upset; I'm not upset. The university is forcing me to work with Kripke. I'm outraged.
Leonard Hofstadter : So, cocoa?
Sheldon Cooper : Yes, cocoa!
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Howard Wolowitz : What do you think, Sheldon? Want an action figure that looks just like you?
Sheldon Cooper : Would it come with kung-fu grip?
Howard Wolowitz : No.
Sheldon Cooper : Don't waste my time.
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Sheldon Cooper : If Kripke asks, tell him my coitus with Amy is frequent, intense, and whimsically inventive.
Leonard Hofstadter : [to Penny] Is my coitus whimsically inventive?
Penny : That is what I write on the bathroom walls. For a whimsically inventive time, call Leonard Hofstadter.
Leonard Hofstadter : I know you're joking, but I'd be okay with that.
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Sheldon Cooper : Don't look at my board!
[Flips board over; the other side has a drawing of a train]
Barry Kripke : What's that?
Sheldon Cooper : That's a drawing of a really cool train. You don't look at that either!
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Barry Kripke : Don't pway dumb with me. We both know what your probwem is
Sheldon Cooper : We do?
Barry Kripke : You have a girlfwiend.
Sheldon Cooper : So?
Barry Kripke : So my work would suffer too if I was getting waid all the time.
What University Does Sheldon Cooper Work at
Source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2636834/characters/nm1433588
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